May 19 2016 – Mariesa Crowder
"Although the road is never ending
take a step and keep walking,
do not look fearfully into the distance.
On this path let the heart be your guide
for the body is hesitant and full of fear." ~ Rumi
I have always prescribed to the ideal of 'follow your heart.'
For me, it isn't really a choice. If I find myself doing something where my heart isn't aligned, the makeup of my being will throw me in such depths of despair that I feel my life is not worth living. I guess this is the by product of living your life this way.
This is not to say that I am fearless or have never felt the restrictions of what living in fear brings. Quite the opposite. But it has meant that fear has pushed me to do things. The painful experiences of the depths of misery I felt from not doing the things I feared terrified me as much as the perceived fear of doing them. Knowing how unhappy I would be if I didn't try left me with no choice but to take the gamble on the big scary unknown.
Learning to completely let go of fear has been a recent thing for me, and I have to say it has been one of the most liberating breakthroughs I have experienced in my life. With that letting go, I found confidence and a new sense of purpose. Without fear and doubts, all I was faced with was possibility and opportunities.
When I was forced to face up to my fears, I discovered I was pretty much scared of everything. I was scared of leaving a relationship, I was terrified of the future, I was fearful of being alone, of failing. I had EPIC fear. Fortunately life had plans for me and I was forced to let all of these fears go. But let me tell you, I fought really hard to keep them. At that point I was so terrified that I would have done anything to stay stuck where I was, unhappy and miserable, instead of embracing what was ahead of me.
When we become aware that our fears are suffocating us, we can start the process of letting them go. When you actually take the time to consider what is blocking you, you will see just how irrational those fears are.
For instance, many of us hold a deep fear of rejection. Rejection is something that life throws at us daily, and for some of us the constant stream of this seemingly negative occurrence becomes overwhelming, to the point where we get scared to put ourselves out there. I'm sure many potential careers and loves have not seen the light of day due to a fear of rejection. The same could be said for failure.
But if we get rejected or if we fail, whats the worst thing that can happen? If anything, there is always an opportunity for us to walk away and use that experience to make ourselves better equipped. For instance, in a job situation, you might consider taking more training and getting more skills in that area. Or you might realise that simply wasn't the right job for you.
As for a fear of failure... no-one can ever fail if they actually try. We always do our best in any given situation. Sometimes, this may not be good enough, but we walk away and dust ourselves down with the realisation that perhaps we have to give more than what we were initially prepared to give. In that instance you are faced with a choice to persevere and continue, or to use it as a test of our will to determine if that was really what we wanted. Whatever the outcome, you are always way ahead if you actually put yourself out there and try.
We perhaps all know this in our rational brains, but still most of the time this doesn't propel us into action. Most of our fears are so deep-rooted that our 'rational' brain doesn't want us to give up on them, and it protects our fear as if it is the most sacred part of our existence, nursing it under the guise that it will protect us in the same way. But just think, when you go to bed every night, safe under that 'protection' of fear, another day has passed you by where you are not fully experiencing life.
Whenever you challenge your fears, you can never be a loser. The loser is the one who doesn't venture to try to overcome their fear, as they have already lost the point of life.
So whats stopping you from living your life? Go on. Become FEARLESS!!! It's a journey you'd wish you'd embarked on much sooner once you decide to take it!
These beautiful photographs were shot in Marrakech by my dear friend John Henry Saxby.
All the garments featured are from the 'Lola 'n' Leather' story which is now available on the Mariesa Mae online store.